kobalt | IC spam.

Hey, hope you're doing okay.

When you have a minute, can I ask you something? It's nothing bad, just a little personal. No worries if not, though.

Okay's all relative these days.

Anyway, shoot.

Yeah, I hear that.

How'd you know when you were done with Exploration as a primary thing?

How you doing after the old switcheroo?

I wish it was as easy as saying as I aged out, but I think it's more that my heart wasn't in it anymore [...] I'm no scientist. My skills are purely practical. Going out there knowing I had a high chance of coming back beat up started weighing heavy on me.

Not gonna lie, I had a bad time, but I'm back to normal now and just, y'know. Thinking.

Yeah, I hear you on that. All of it.

[...] Kinda thinking I want out ~~but I feel a little self~~ before I don't get a choice in the matter.

Thinking about the latest [...] event or leaving Explorers? Or all of it?

It took me a while to get to a place where I felt ready to drop it.

Just all of it? It's been weighing on me for a long time, but yeah, hard to drop it.

I kinda feel like I'm responsible for all these people, or like, letting everyone down or whatever? But also my heart's not in it.

Did you get past all that?

I think I'd be lying if I said yes, because I've clearly hung onto it in a way. But acting in a secondary role means I can offer the expertise of experience without necessarily letting the role completely take over things. I try to think of it as: when in the field, I'm responsible. But that ends when I'm back at my actual day job. And IRIS is pretty good at replacing you.

That's all a good way of looking at it. Makes sense.

Thought about fucking off altogether but maybe that's just the fight or flight talking.

Lou, I'm constantly thinking about fucking off altogether.

Seriously?

Do I want to hit 50 and still be living in a two-bed government issue apartment? Hell no.

Okay, well. I gotta say it's a relief that I'm not alone in that.

How long have you been thinking it?

Since we got back from 3 months of living in the real world.

But your escape fantasy doesn’t involve permanent RV-life, does it?

Nah, I'm too old and cranky for that.

Thank god.

So what does your escape fantasy involve?

Maybe I'll go farm. Maybe I'll go teach. I dunno. Just don't relish the idea of dying for a job just 'cause I'm a Liminal, y'know?

What's yours look like?

I know.

Mid-size ranch. Lots of animals (non-Liminal variety) everywhere. Secret underground wine cellar.

That sounds like the dream.

I want a horse. And a dog.

you got clean fancy outfit stuff?? like the pants mostly. not FANCY fancy just the nice fancy.

[…] Yes?

ok cool good to know thanks

Am I expected somewhere with just the pants?

IC spam.

DM - 9/22

DM - 9/22

DM - 9/22

DM - 9/22

DM - 9/22

DM - 9/22

DM - 9/22

DM - 9/22

DM - 9/22

DM - 9/22

DM - 9/22

DM - 9/22

DM - 9/22

DM - 9/22

DM - 9/22

DM - 9/22

DM - 9/22

DM - 9/22

DM - 9/22

DM - 9/22

DM - 9/22

DM, 9/27

DM, 9/27

DM, 9/27

DM, 9/27